My clubs...



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"Happy New Year!!"


He said with a gun in his hand as he demanded that everyone in the store hit the floor and stfu.

"This past year sucked and I think that the contents in your little cash register will make me feel just a wee bit better."

Said the thief in a loud voice while wearing a black leather mask with pink bunny ears taped to the sides.

"But we are just a humble adult sex shop kind sir. We don't have much money in the cash register right now. Surely you can find a better prize somewhere else?"

Said the frightened cashier as he raised his hands in the air. (While still holding
a 12 inch purple rubber cock that he was showing to another customer)

"Shut up!! Now slowly place the rubber cock on the counter and quickly open the register!" .."and don't call me Shirley"..


{$100.00}


"One Hundred??!! You better have something else because I'm not leaving until I get something of value!"

Scared and concerned for the other customers, the noble sex shop cashier decided that he would suggest some other products to the thief in hopes that he could sell them somewhere else and leave.

"We only have a hundred dollars right now but take this...It's called the LongDongAsaurus!....One of these can fetch a fine prize for you on the streets." .."and if you press the button here....it roars"..

The thief grabbed the device and placed it inside his backpack.

"And we also have this....It's called the RetroTicklerMaximus!...It's lean...It's mean...and it will make you scream!" .."and it also goes great with toast"..

"Indeed" Said the thief as he placed the second device inside his backpack.

"This next one is the last one I can give you. We call it the Pony Express"

The device seemed to generate a glow of it's own, calming and exciting everyone in the store at the same time.

"Why is it called the Pony Express?" whispered the thief.

The cashier flashed a devilish smile and held it up to the thief so he can examine it closer.


"Because you can ride it hard and it always delivers."

Wide eyed and clearly impressed, the larcenist quickly grabbed the Express and began to run toward the exit.

"Wait sir!" Yelled the cashier.

"You forgot your backpack along with the hundred dollars!"


"Fuck it!" replied the thief as he ran out the door.

"Keep it and have a Happy Fuckin' New Year!"


"You too.." said the heroic cashier.


"Happy New Year Indeed"



-the end

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G'night dear friends